Things the Doctor has done when he has had a "Duh" moment

What you are about to read is humorous, they are things that I have done or forgot to do, Oh well lets just say I didn't have my mind on things and leave it at that.

Don't forget to put the plug in the boat

I think this has happened to anybody that owns a boat, but I never thought it would happen to me. I have a very set routine that I go through when I go boating. But on this day I forgot one little thing.

This incident happened on CJ Brown in my home town. It was a very beautiful day the sun was shining and just a little breeze, I had been home from work when Lynn said why don't we go for some cats on the Brown. Yes, I love this woman, she likes to fish so we loaded up the boat and it is always ready to go, trucked out to the Brown and launched ,Lynn was sitting in the boat holding it to the dock while I parked the truck. A fellow that knew me started talking to me as I started down the hill, we talked for a short time and then I headed for the dock I was strolling down the hill putting on my PFD, Lynn she already had hers on, and as I approached the boat I noticed that the bow was real high in the air, but never gave it a thought until I stepped in the boat and water was up to the floor. Lynn did not even know there was water in the boat, she does not know how to swim so she immediately, freaked out. I grabbed the plug and shoved it in the hole and the water was about two inches from spilling over the transom.

Bilge pump don't fail me now!!
Flipped the pump on but they just don't pump fast enough when you have a terrified wife on board the boat, to make things even more difficult when I had stepped into the boat the force had shoved us away from the dock and we were in about 14 foot of water. I fired the big engine up and knew that the only way to get rid of that much water was to get up and use force to get it out. I put my very terrified wife behind the wheel and told her to push the throttle down and don't let up, I reached down and pulled the plug the water rushed out hard through that small hole but finally the water exited the boat, we were safe now.

For the next two hours it was pure torture, if I said anything she would say "Don't talk to me I'm mad at you" I'm not sure if we caught any fish that day, but Lynn forgave me and we laugh about it now. When we hook up now we check the plug before we leave and I know the question is asked a half dozen times on the way to the river "Is the plug in the Boat?"

Thanks for the new Anchor dear

Well this next incident is not the way to put artificial structure on the river bottom, we were fishing on the river, Lynn had bought me a brand spankin new "crab claw anchor" for the boat it was my birthday present from her so now I had two of them on board. We were fishing during the day waiting on nightfall. We had anchored up on a channel about 20 foot deep using only one anchor out the front, the wind started to blow and the boat was swinging towards the shore, so I decided to put out the brand new anchor, normally I use a Palomar knot to tie the anchor rope to the shackle, but on this day there was this neat little plastic needle in the bag that came with the anchor line. Hey this is cool, I can hide the rope inside of the rope, won't have that big knot showing. Now I know all you guys out there read the instructions from cover to cover, Yeah right!! I'm no different than you all, come on fess up.

This could not be that hard to do so I just weaved the rope with this little plastic thing a ma bob, Oh yea good and tight, grabbed the anchor rope snapped it up and down a couple of times, good and solid.

Now normally I don't throw an anchor but for this thing to hook up and keep the boat in place I had to launch it get it to bury down. Hooked right up, yes, no more swinging of the boat, locked in place. We were waiting on a bite so decided to have a little snack, when Lynn's outside rod went hard to the water, she had on a very upset Flathead that was not about to be dragged to the boat, this was a nice fish and the first big one of the day, both of us were on the same side of the boat I had the net in hand and noticed that the boat had kind of swung out a little from the shoreline, just figured that I may have loosened the anchor up when I had moved over to Lynn's side of the boat, just about the time I started to net this Flathead I looked up and saw my rope was floating on the surface of the water, Lynn said well you going to net my fish or stare at the water, so I netted the fish, then I told her that my birthday present was laying on the river bottom and not attached to the rope, it is pure torture bringing in an anchor rope hand over hand with no weight on the other end. I was so mad that day, but what are you supposed to do, now I make sure that I tie a good knot onto the anchor and I don't deposit expensive structure for a Flathead.

Where did the trailer go?

This next incident happened at Yeatmans Cove under Riverfront stadium in downtown Cincinnati, Ohio. We had originally wanted to launch from Schmidt ramp but it was closed with a cable across the launch ramp, so we went to Yeatmans. I had never launched from there but it was real wide, so I thought and looked good, there were several others launching so I backed down to what I thought was the ramp, the river was way up that day and what I did not know was that there was a wall that I was backing down too. This whole area is all sloped to the river and looks like one big ramp. Lynn was outside the truck holding on to the launch rope when the trailer just disappeared, I heard this faint thud sound and started looking for the trailer. Man where did it go? I hopped out of the truck went to the back and the trailer was still hooked to the hitch but it was totally gone. What had happened was the wheels had dropped over the wall and dropped down onto it, Talk about a power launch. Well you guessed it, I attempted to pull the trailer and all the truck did was burn rubber, Man it was locked into the wall. So now what do I do, we dropped the anchor on the boat and let it sit, I decided that the only way to get it up off the wall was to go in the water, 50 degrees man that was gonna be cold, and physically lift the trailer while Lynn who by the way hates to drive the truck pulled it out and not run over me in the process. She was not happy at all with this decision, when all of a sudden a guy came up and said "dropped it over the wall, Huh take it easy and don't run over me!" This guy just shucked his shoes and socks rolled up his pants and went into the water, promptly lifted the trailer and I pulled it out. What a guy never had met him but boy he baled me out in my time of need. I have never been back to this launch since that incident.

The boat won't come off the trailer!!

This  incident came from Tanners Creek ramp which is in Lawrenceburg, Indiana. Tanners does not have any docks just a real big wide ramp, so it is kind of difficult for Lynn and I to launch a boat. This was in the middle of the summer and the water was real low, I mean real low. In normal pool this ramp has a good drop into the water, then the concrete flattens out into the water, well the drop was up high and dry and all we had to launch on was the flat part. I had tried a couple of times and the boat would not float off the trailer, the bunks had just gotten under the water but it would not float off. So I thought that since the bunks were wet maybe the boat would slide off if I kind of backed up and then locked the brakes down on the truck it would slip off the trailer, well it did just that except that it came off that trailer like it had been shot out of a cannon, now Lynn is holding the rope and all of a sudden I see her leaning back and I hear her sliding on gravel and see her shoot by the truck. She finally got it stopped but her feet where in the water. But she did not drop the rope.

Structure on the river bottom

Seems like a lot of stuff happens at Tanners, I had bought a new trolling motor one that fit right on the transom of the boat, trouble is when you forget to bring it up and you take off for another spot, well it became structure on the river bottom, only a few people know where this location is and I'm still trying to retrieve it.

US Cats Pro tournament

Thank goodness Lynn was not with me on this. Larry needed a partner for this tournament so we took my boat and drove down the day before got Skipjack at Barkley dam then got up in the morning to fish the tournament, we launched near the end of the pack of 40 boats so we decided to go up into the Tennessee river and get some quick fish, first spot Larry boated a small flathead, then nothing, tried several places still nothing so we talked and decided to head to Smithland dam 26 miles away. As we were coming out of the Tennessee river into the Ohio I stared to make a cut to the right with the boat, out of the corner of my eye I see Larry stand up I take a quick look at the depth finder and it is showing 26 foot of water, then I hear Larry scream "Bar"!!!! I pulled back on the throttle and both of us are into the windshield. I looked over at Larry and check to see if he is ok and then I look over the side of the boat and we are hung on a sandbar in less than 6 inches of water and the current is pushing hard against the transom, Boy are we in trouble, the motor is buried in the soft sand and the boat is hung solid, well again I'm sure glad Larry was with me, he just shucks off his shoes and socks and bails over the side, with a lot of rocking and me running to the bow and back to the transom we were able to get the boat off the bar and Larry was able to manhandle the boat around to where the current was pushing against the side of the boat instead of the Transom, we finally were able to get the boat in a couple of feet of water and fired up the big engine, after this problem I was on pins and needles the rest of the tournament. we ended up catching fish and yet again another lesson learned.

I have learned from all the mistakes that I have made over the years, these are things that you don't forget about and make great memories. We have laughed hard about some of these little incidents, and know that I will make more as I grow older.
Tim and Lynn Lange